LayBore

Getting media coverage is difficult enough when competing against an AFL grand final , brawling construction workers and a warming planet . Getting good media coverage is impossible, even on the journalistic left . Our party has been authorised by the Marquis de Tabloid to put coal miners in the federal parliament. The party has been authorised by a trade union credit card to keep coal miners happy, at least until a coal mine kills them. The party has also been authorised by an overcrowded hospital emergency department , with or without the authority of the CFMMEU or a Liberal ex-minister . Building hospitals creates jobs. Providing healthcare workers for hospitals costs money. Keeping jobs in coal seats keeps those seats out of Coalition hands, at least in theory. Putting policies in place to encourage Australians to do harvest work on farms is another matter entirely. Our activities are authorised by high-vis big blokes in hard hats , or at least the vaccinated ones willing to wo

Getting money for election campaigns has long been big business in Australia, with or without a trip to the supermarket or casino . The Coalition gets more money from big business and rich blokes than we do, so we don't want them to outdo us, even when one product or another kills the public. Buying elections in Australia doesn't come cheap .  And nor does buying public policies in your favour.

You may be aware that political parachutes , like journalistic ones , tend to have a divisive influence on the ground , and possibly even in the air, and on air. Political factions often behave like packs of journalists .  They may even form decisive pacts from time to time, particularly through the power of groupthink . In politics, as in journalism, groupthink is often mistaken for democracy. The social conservatives in our party mostly acquired their beliefs as children.  They have not yet grown out of them.  A Roman Catholic priest continues to have a stranglehold over their mindset. The ethnic diversity enclaves of our party either need our financial assistance or we need theirs.  We do not usually need their political assistance except at the ballot box in marginal electorates. We can only give them financial assistance when we have political power. Even then, we expect them to be grateful for any government assistance we are willing and able to give them. There are already plen

Coal is still as important to our mates as it is to the Coalition mates .   Collusion causes confusion, as does coalusion and other illusions. Our mates and the Coalition blokes want to keep some things the same as they were in the 19th century . Keeping the system going, even with plenty of official investigations over nearly a decade , means our mates get good jobs and/or get rich, unlike the Coalition mates who want to stay rich and get richer. He who must be Obeid is above the law, like all real mates in Australia.

Sometimes it is good to have a girl as a political candidate to win votes in marginal seats and look after social policies. But girls are not good at looking after the egos of blokes.  And most girls are not good looking, especially after they reach a certain age.  They may even do stupid things like have babies. Constructing political power is not a job for girls.  It is a job for high-vis big blokes in hard hats. Girls know nothing about real work.  They spend most of their time getting their hair done, buying new clothes, trying on stupid shoes and doing their make-up.  That is what they spend their money on, regardless of their ages. Blokes spend money on big ticket items like utes, boats and going to the footy with their mates.  Blokes have big priorities.  That is why they need bigger salaries. The egos of blokes are boosted through News Crap . Governments in Australia, of both varieties, have long made public investments mainly for the benefit of blokes, especially big blokes an

Crowds are a sign of popularity, in our view.  An overcrowded place is obviously a very popular place. Efficiency requires the concentration of resources in one location.  If we had our political way, Australians would have only one public hospital emergency department, possibly in Marree or Pyrmont or South Morang. Central essential services save money even if they do not necessarily save lives. Building things is fun, particularly when spending public money. Saving lives in buildings, and outside them, is the job of experts.  We are not experts at anything except giving public money to big construction firms. Nation pride is in the national interest.  Overly expensive public buildings are symbols of success and therefore national pride, even if voters die in queues of ambulances outside them and thereby pay the national price. Our candidates love being around a hive of activity in high viz hard hats and high viz vests, especially for high viz media events. Everything else is bo

Encouraging thousands of underemployed individuals on minimum wages to join a union is a great idea. A minimum wage sounds great in theory.  In reality, it is nowhere near a living wage, especially on a casual contract with inadequate hours of work and several debts to repay. Encouraging thousands of victims of wage theft to join a union is also a great idea, except for the possibility that quite a few may usually be paid in cash to dodge tax and work much longer hours than their visas allow. A unionised workforce of the lowest paid workers is a great idea for the associated lobbyists.  There is much money to be made from keeping wages low.  A unionised workforce of the lowest paid workers is also great from the point of view of a senior union official with an overly generous salary, access to a trade union credit card and political ambitions. The public knows that low paid jobs are usually boring jobs.  The work may even be detrimental to the mental health of the workers. The people d